Buxom Battles
An epic catfight of astronomical breast proportions! Who will come out on top? Or will they come out on top at all?! PART ONE OF AN EPIC THREE-PARTER. Characters *Oboes Bi *Violet (Dick Sticks) *Elf? *Red *Blue *Pink Transcript (Blue is sitting at his table, eating a sandwich.) Pink: Blue! Get out here! (He runs out of the kitchen and runs outside, to see...) Pink: What the hell is this?! (A gigantic shoe footprint.) Blue: It almost looks like a shoe. Pink: What made it, though? Blue: I...have no idea. (Then, in an abandoned facility, Oboes Bi is busy working on her new plans.) Oboes: Hahaha...this is perfect! Violet: What's perfect? Oboes: N-nothing... Violet: What do have behind your back? Oboes: Why do you have to know?! Violet: Yo, calm your tits. I just askin'. Oboes: Well, it's none of your business! Violet: Gimme that! (Violet rushes forward, trying to steal Oboes' blueprints.) Oboes: HEY! (Violet tries to kick Oboes in the head, but she grabs her leg and twists it.) Violet: AGH! That hurts! Oboes: Why do you need to know my plans?! Violet: Because...the elf... (Oboes stares at Violet blankly.) Oboes: Really. An elf. If you want these plans, you going to have to fight me for them! Violet: Fair enough. (Violet backs away from Oboes, and does the "get over here" motion with her finger.) Oboes: Oh, you're gonna get it! (Oboes runs in front of Violet, then suddenly disappears. Violet looks around, but gets kicked in the back. Violet runs to kick Oboes, but she gets blocked by Oboes' breasts.) Violet: Wait...doesn't that hurt? Oboes: If you learn karate, you get used to it. (Oboes kicks Violet in the head, knocking her out.) (20 minutes later...) (Violet wakes up to her unknown surroundings.) Violet: What the...where am I? Oboes (over transmission): Violet. You are in an armored robot. The directions to operate are on the control panel. Come find me. 1472 85th St SW Kits Grove, CA. Violet: Oh my god... (She looks over the controls, with many, MANY buttons and switches.) Violet: The directions... (She reads the directions, with the following steps:) 1. Flip the red switch. 2. The levers on the bottom of the panel, controls the legs. The levers on top control the arms. Violet: Wow. Brief. (She flips the red switch, as the Mac boot-up sound plays.) Violet: Oh my god, this is so cool! (She messes with the levers and destroys the facility.) Violet: This must have been what was on those blueprints! That bitch better get ready for me! (She controls the robot, and runs through the town. While she's running, she leaves gigantic footprints.) Violet: 1472 85th Street Southwest...I know where that is. (She presses a random button, activating the rocket boots. In doing so, she flies into the air.) Violet: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET! I'M COMIN' FOR YOU OBOES! (Meanwhile...) ???: Hahaha! Your my best catch today! Oboes: You bastard! Who are you?! ???: I'm not telling! Oboes: ARGH! (Violet crashes down through the ceiling.) Violet: OH YEAAAAH! Oboes: Hey, you're finally here. Violet: Took me long enough? Oboes: Uh, yeah. Violet: So you wanna finish what we started? (Oboes jumps into the darkness, as the Windows XP bootup sound is heard.) Violet: Oh yeah. Oboes: Come here, Vile! Violet: Oh, you did not just call me that! (Violet-bot jumps out at Oboes-bot, but Oboes-bot jumps out of the way. Violet-bot uses her rocket boots, to get a gain on Oboes-bot, running down the road.) Violet: Eat missiles, bitch! (Suddenly, a mysterious voice appears on Oboes' radio.) ???: Trust me, I'm not done with you... Violet: Wait, is it him? Oboes: What?! You can hear my radio?! Violet: Yeah! It's a four-way. Anyway, I know that voice... Oboes: What is it? Violet: It's the ELF! Oboes: Wait, that's who was holding me down?! An elf?! Violet: Yeah! (Violet punches Oboes-bot in the robot stomach. The Oboes-Bot falls down, causing a giant crater.) Oboes: You sneaky bastard! Violet: Hahahaha! (Violet jumps out of her robot, helping Oboes out of hers.) Oboes: *coughs* Thanks. Violet: No problem. Now, it's time to fuck up that elf. (They run towards the cave that Oboes was in, and goes into the room where the elf was hiding.) Violet: AHA! ???: Oh, you found me. Allow me to introduce myself... What did you think of this episode? Gross. (1/5) Less gross. (2/5) Good. (3/5) Better. (4/5) Awesome! (5/5) Category:Episodes Category:Dick Sticks Category:December Releases